Destiny... or what comes after (The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Fairy Tale Kiss)

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    rainshadow
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    Destiny... or what comes after (The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Fairy Tale Kiss)

    Post by rainshadow on Sun Sep 29, 2013 9:44 am

    Just a little fairy tale parody I'm working on. This is just the intro to the first chapter, which I probably will post later, after all the edits are made.

    If you stop and think about it, all the really great fairy tales end with a kiss. Hell, in most stories the kiss is the real kicker at the end. The twist that ties it all together.

    The Frog Prince needed a peck from a princess to turn back into a prince. The Little Mermaid had only three days to share a kiss of true love that would allow her to stay human forever. There’s the kiss that resurrected Snow White after she’d bitten into the poison apple. And, of course, there’s the granddaddy of all smooches: Sleeping Beauty needed her Prince Charming in order to wake from her cursed slumber.

    There’s just something about a kiss that screams “Happily Ever After”.

    *   *   *
    Except it’s all bull****.

    Hollywood embellishes the kiss. They romanticize it and dumb it down for the mainstream audience. All those stories I mentioned? None of the original stories were “Happily Ever After” sealed with a kiss.

    Snow White and the Seven Dwarves? That façade ends after a bit of apple miraculously falls from her mouth and she revives.

    The Little Mermaid? She has to marry the guy, not kiss him. Unfortunately the guy chooses to marry another chick, and our heroine dissolves into sea foam.

    And what about the Princess and the Frog? Well, depending on which story you’re reading, our charming princess either hurls the poor frog into a wall or cuts off his little head. Oh yeah, truly romantic. Hey, at least they get married in the end. Get the domestic violence out of your system early, I say.

    Sleeping Beauty? Her prince charming, actually a king, rapes her while she sleeps and later kills his wife, the queen, in order to be with the comatose girl he found in the woods. Such a heart-warming tale.

    The point being? Well, I’ve already made that abundantly clear: it’s all bull****.

    I’ve done the kissing thing.

    And I’ll leave you with this:

    “Happily Ever After” my ***.

    *   *   *
    The beginning was nice. The feel of her soft lips. The sweet, flowery taste of lipstick. The gentle gasp of surprise in the moment just before we parted. I guess I can see the appeal in it. There was a certain undeniable thrill in the heat of the moment. Especially considering that look in her eyes right before my private fantasy burned to ashes.

    Her blue-grey eyes sparkled like diamonds. Rosy cheeks flushed an even deeper shade of red. Tender lips quivered delicately as her mind raced, trying to grasp the nature of a moment of lightheaded innocence, blinded by a dangerous mixture courage and stupidity.

    It ended with a resounding smack across the jaw loud enough to turn heads. If mine weren’t firmly attached to my shoulders it might have gone rolling across the rooftop. As it were my head merely snapped back when she landed the blow.

    --------------------------------------------

    by rainshadow


    Last edited by rainshadow on Sun Sep 29, 2013 9:58 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Language)
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    Ckyle7
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    Re: Destiny... or what comes after (The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Fairy Tale Kiss)

    Post by Ckyle7 on Mon Sep 30, 2013 7:08 am

    That made me smile. A LOT. Very clever....Keep it coming, rainshadow! Very Happy


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    rainshadow
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    Re: Destiny... or what comes after (The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Fairy Tale Kiss)

    Post by rainshadow on Mon Sep 30, 2013 3:13 pm

    Thrilled you enjoyed it. I'm enjoying writing it myself, but there's so much to work out right now. It'll probably be awhile before I post anything more on it.


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